Vote Or Die

December 6, 2011
Starbucks
Hollywood, CA

Dylann and I were having a disagreement about what this name actually was.
I leave it to you to help decipher this code:

After A Long Hiatus

Friday December 2, 2011
Charley's
Century City, CA

After an extremely long hiatus of going to the same Starbucks that does not write names on cups, I am making a small yet mighty return by ordering a sandwich at the mall. When the cashier asked for my name I said "Cara" and simultaneously handed him my AmEx to confirm the information I had just relayed to him, but I had a feeling he was going to get it wrong anyway.

And he did.

Carol is not my name.

Phone

Thanks to Ms. Kish for this link:

Hey, Starbucks Baristas? Nobody is Named Phone

The Magic of Disney

Thursday October 6, 2011
Starbucks
Burbank, CA

THAT IS MY NAME!

Basic Alphabet Skills

Tuesday October 4, 2011
Starbucks
Burbank, CA

There were only like 4 people in Starbucks this morning, so it's not like it was too loud.
Some one needs to watch more Sesame Street and learn about the sounds that letters make.
Not. My. Name.

Losing Your Mables

September 28, 2011
Starbucks
Burbank, CA

Have a piece of some mable loaf.

Seriously... no one proof read that?

Bitch

Wow... and I thought I had it bad...

http://abclocal.go.com/wabc/story?section=news/7_on_your_side&id=8368831

Talia

September 18, 2011
Trump Plaza
Atlantic City, NJ

My friend Talia put the reservation for our room under her name.

I would like to make 2 points here:
1. The letters "p" and "t" are not close enough to confuse on the keyboard.
2. "Talia" is a fairly common name, while I am going to make the unfair assumption that no one on this planet is named "Palia"

If there is a Palia out there who would like to defend herself, now is the time.

That's not her name.

3 Names, 2 Baristas, 1 Coffee

September 18, 2011
Starbucks
Atlantic City, NJ

A little scenario that my friend Brittany personally witnessed, in case their are any doubts.

We open on a Starbucks in Atlantic City. I have just given my coffee order to the barista. Brittany stands behind me.
Barista #1: Name please
Me: Cara
Barista #1: Great Tara, can I also interest you in a scone?
Me: [groan] No thanks
Brittany giggles.
I hand Barista #1 my credit card. She looks at the name on it. She's confused, but then decides she is still going to go with her gut. I admire her commitment.
Barista #1: Tara, can you please sign here?
Barista #1 then turns to BARISTA #2. Barista #2 has the cup in hand, ready to write, eager for instruction.
Barista #1: That's one grande non-fat pumpkin spice latte no whip for Tara!
Barista #2 writes out the cup. I sign my receipt. Brittany continues to laugh awkwardly.

THIS IS WHAT I ENDED UP WITH:

None of those are my name.

Open for Interpretation

September 9, 2011
California Chicken Cafe
Hollywood, CA

Now when I placed my order for pick up, I spelled my name for him. Twice.
Kewen? Kawer? That's not my name.

Beggers Can Be Choosers

September 8, 2011
Jamba Juice
San Diego, CA

You would think with a name like Ikran, maybe she would pay closer attention to the name her customers give her.
Alas, no.
Give me my frozen fruit and have your ears cleaned. That's not my name.

K is for Kookie

August 20, 2011
Starbucks
Studio City, CA

That is phonetically my name.

Dylann

August 18, 2011
Starbucks
Los Angeles, CA

My boss' name is Dylann.
I know that this is a complicated, mind-blowing statement to make. How can a FEMALE have the name DYLANN? Does. Not. Compute.
This unfathomable fact did not register with the barista either.
Therefore Dylann = Delia.
Basically the same, right?
Right?
.... Right?

That's not her name.

I LIKE YOU.

July 16, 2011
Starbucks
Valley Village, CA

I like you. I like you so much.
It's even in pretty handwriting.
But I can't help but think it's only because I handed him my credit card to pay.

Names Are Hard

Tonight, I sit in my apartment with my roommate and 2 very dear friends who have known me for many years. We sit, we drink, we catch up. Good times are had.
After many drinks, my roommate has called me "Carrie" and my friend has called me "Sarah"

Both are not my name.

A Message to All

July 4, 2011
Coronado Beach
Coronado, CA

A message to all who pass over!
THIS IS MY NAME!

No Words

July 3, 2011
Starbucks
Hillcrest, CA

Now here lies my confusion.
My sister was with me at the time of this purchase, and can attest to the fact that when asked my name, I responded appropriately.
How is THIS what he came up with????
That's not a name. That's not a word. But maybe from now on if I tell people my name is M2 they will write Cara on my drink order.

Tomb Raider

July 1, 2011
Starbucks
Kearny Mesa, CA

I can't say I am terribly surprised by this one, seeing as how this is the same Starbucks that dubbed me "Paris" a few months ago.
Sigh.
That's not my name.

MEGHAN

I was starting to think that maybe this was only an west coast phenomenon... and then my dear friend Meghan sent me this:

And so we must certainly document this atrocity.

June 27, 2011
Starbucks
Midtown, NYC

Again, I stress... Her name is Meghan.
MEGHAN.
M E G H A N
Now if it were anyone else, I may speculate that they just stole this coffee from some poor under-caffeinated girl named Amy. However, my friend Meghan holds herself to a much higher standard and moral code then say, me... so I trust that this is the sad truth.
That is most certainly not her name.

Brunch

June 26, 2011
Starbucks
San Diego, CA

A beautiful day for a brunch.
Maybe I should stick to mimosas.

Project Expansion

June 9, 2011
Starbucks
Los Angeles, CA

Due to the overwhelming love and support of this blog, I have received numerous other name bastardizations. So I have decided to include them, so that these crimes do not go unpunished!

This is supposed to say Spencer.
It does not.
That's not his name.

...Nova?

June 16, 2011
Starbucks
Hollywood,  CA

I haven't been to Starbucks in a while since we have this super awesome coffee machine at work now...
But really?!? COME THE EFF ON!

Your Job Is To Answer The Phone

Phones are hard.

Me: Hey, is Brandon around? It's Cara from *OMITTED*
Assistant: I'm sorry, did you say Cass or Cat?
Me: I said Cara.
Assistant: Oh, sorry I am a complete and total  moron.

...OK. So I made that last part up.

Do I need some sort of speech therapy?

Hearing is Hard... Listening is Harder

People, I am very careful when I answer the phone.
Now I know that sometimes things get muffled, and sometimes connections get lost... but this is just truly unacceptable.

[RING]
Me: This is Cara.
Her: Hi Cal!

Nope. You don't know me. Don't be so excited to talk to me. I am not Cal.

Airport Starbucks

May 28, 2011
Starbucks
San Diego International Airport

7:00 AM flight to St. Louis from San Diego
A line of people down the corridor just trying to get some coffee.
And the little Asian lady wants to talk to me about my name.
Apparently Kara is her daughter's name. She thinks it is a very beautiful name. So even though I told her mine, unlike her daughters, was spelled with a C, I still recieved this.
That's almost my name. I can't be too mad.

Definitely not as mad as all the exhausted, under-caffeinated people behind me who were held up by this ridiculous conversation and might have missed their flights.

Someone Knows My Pain

Thanks to Glick for the link to this article:

http://thebiglead.com/index.php/2011/05/17/duke-cant-spell-recruits-name-right-so-he-picks-unc/

I think this is an extremely rational justification for a decision.
It's nice to know that someone out there knows what I go through!

Sister, Sister

May 15, 2011
Starbucks
San Diego, CA

My sister is in town for the weekend, and went to go order a chai latte. I told her to give my name and see what happened.
Here is what happened:
Barista: Name?
Sister: Cara
Barista: Karen?
Sister: Cara
Barista: Oh okay.

He then proceeded to write "Kara" on the cup, give her the change, and say "Thanks Karen"

She is much more patient than I.

Iced Goodness

May 12, 2011
Starabucks
Van Nuys, CA

A beautiful, warm, sunny day in LA deserves a nice iced beverage to start the day right.
I hope Tara is having a great day.
That's not my name.

Not An Option

May 10, 2011
Starbucks
Hollywood, CA

This is not a name.
Let alone my name.
Please find me some one with this name.
I dare you.

Reading is Harder than Listening

The following phone conversation just took place at my office. This is not at all an exaggeration of what just happened.

Me: This is Cara
Her: Hi this is... wait, how do you pronounce your name?
Me: Cara
Her: Oh! I was trying to decide how to pronounce it.
Me: What were you deciding between?
Her: I didn't know if it was Cara or Sara
Me: Why would it be Sara if it starts with a "C"?
Her: I don't know. Some people are just crazy.

You ma'am. YOU are just crazy.

Monday Afternoon Pick Me Up

May 9, 2011
Starbucks
San Diego, CA

Trying to stay awake on a gloomy Monday afternoon. That's not my name.

Easter Monday

April 25, 2011
Starbucks
Hollywood, CA

Just your average Monday morning. I guess it's hard to hear things when you haven't had your coffee yet... wait....

Score for the Chosen People

April 12, 2011
Art's Deli
Studio City, CA

Of course the jews got it right! The spelling is off, but I will take it!

Umami

April 11, 2011
Umami Burger
Studio City, CA

My lunch order today from Umami Burger

Now again, I didn't put in this order. The production office called.
But it's nice to know that people are deaf in other places besides Starbucks.
I'm also not quite sure what this even says... is it K-L-A-R-A? or K-I-A-R-A?
And why are those options for names?
That's not my name.

Afternoon Delight

April 8, 2011
Starbucks
Van Nuys, CA

I didn't order this paticular beverage myself. Our lovely office PA went out to get us all a little afternoon pick-me-up.
But I am pretty sure that she didn't tell them my name was Carol.

Really?

March 25, 2011
Starbucks
Burbank, CA

What do you think it said before?

Please Advise

March 17,2011
Starbucks
Burbank, CA

I knew I should have stuck to Coffee Bean this week.
The best part about this is the poor barista who had to announce this drink order -
"Car... Car... Car-day? Car-di? Carol? Carrolla? Ca - grande skinny vanilla latte"
That's not my name.

A New Kind of Crazy

March 14, 2011
Starbucks
Studio City, CA

This is a new one for me. 10 Points for Originality!
(That's still not my name though)
Happy Monday!

The Tortoiser and the Harer

March 12, 2011
Starbucks
Hollywood, CA

You remember that old children's tale from the sea? The Tortoiser and the Harer.
This is actually supposed to say Karen.
Neither of which are my name.

Mrs. Brady

March 10, 2011

Starbucks

Burbank, CA

Good morning.

So close, yet so far.

Monday Morning

March 7, 2011
Starbucks
Burbank, CA

Happy Monday. That's not my name.

Better Leave It Blank

March 4, 2011
Starbucks
Burbank, CA

Bear with me a moment if you will.
I order my drink, and the barista, PEN IN HAND AND READY TO WRITE, asks my name.
"Cara," I reply.
He stops, thinks, looks at me, "I'm sorry, what?"
"Cara," I reply.
He looks at the cup, trying to figure out what to write.
He leans in, "One more time."
"Cara," I reply.

WHY IS THIS SO HARD?!?

Karen = Rover

March 3, 2011
Starbucks
Studio City, CA

OK Now here is the thing...
When he asked me my name, I of course replied "Cara"
Then he said to me, "Would you like anything else today, Karen?"
So after I rolled my eyes and said no, I knew what I was in for.
But I am pretty sure that what this cup says to any normal person who knows how to read is: "Rover"
Or maybe it says "Raver" because he thought I was Kim Raver.
Probably not though.
Or maybe it says "Raver" because I look like the type of person who likes to drop X and twirl glow sticks.
Maybe he was just offended by my blatant eye roll.
I guess we'll never know.

Charlie Bit Me

My monumental coffee success this morning was shattered by people's inability to hear.

Here is how I answer the phone at work:
"This is Cara."
So you know what you are getting into when I pick up the phone.

Today I was called Charlie.

That's definitely not my name.

Winner Winner Chicken Dinner

March 2, 2011
Starbucks
10965 Ventura Blvd
Studio City, CA 91604

ATTENTION HAS BEEN PAID!
And even spelled right.
I'm so happy I could cry.
But that requires a lot of energy and I haven't had my coffee yet.

Letters Are Hard

March 1, 2011
Starbucks
Burbank, CA

I think it's supposed to say "Kira" but it kinda looks like "Kirq"
I actually kinda hope it's Kirq - and I stole Kirq's skinny vanilla latte.
A girl can dream...

On second thought, it might actually say "Kiva"
Either way, it's wrong.

Sold!

February 24, 2011
Starbucks
Studio City, CA

ATTENTION HAS BEEN PAID!
The spelling is wrong, but I will take it!

Almost Famous

February 22, 2011
Starbucks
Burbank, CA

Nope. Try Again.

Naranjas Para Ti

February 16, 2011
South Carolina

My brother sent me this picture this morning with a text that says:
"Makes up for tara on the coffee ehhh"

At least some one got it right.... and twice!

Oh Na Na What's My Name

February 15, 2011
Starbucks
Hollywood, CA

It should also be noted that I paid with a credit card.
A credit card that did indeed have my name on it.

All In The Family

February 11, 2011
Starbucks
Studio City, CA

This is my sister's name. My parents also had a rather ridiculous sense of humor naming their younger daughter a short name that sounds almost exactly like the older daughter's name.
It should also be pointed out that this is the SAME Starbucks that I was at the day before, where I ordered the SAME drink, and was given a DIFFERENT name that is not my own.

The Old Standby

February 10, 2011
Starbucks
Studio City, CA

This is probably the most common bastardization of my name that I see.

The Simple Life

February 5, 2011
Starbucks
Kearny Mesa, CA

This is the one that started it all. By far, the STRANGEST screw up of my name that I have ever heard.